I was really thinking about the past today. A long time ago I began to make personal work--work that was something I knew about, but no one else did. I used my symbols to make my own personal expression. This always got mixed reviews. People who believed art was something that came from within seemed to accept this--though possibly still not understand it. Others that thought that art was a reaction to something (ie something cerebral - that could be logically taken from a point and read as some sort of statement) these people didn't really get me. As I progressed (or digressed) as an artist I found myself having to justify this or that in order to get to my goal, having a degree. This meant I had to buy into the notion of art as something cerebral and not something guttural. I did this... and I got my accolades. A harsh price to pay as I'm struggling again to find that self expression that is so inside of me that its true on all levels--not just something I can justify as being art because of this idea or this form or this reaction to---but is art because it is so real that it can't be anything else but art--or at least expression. I photographed this apple today because an apple has appeared in my work for many years and has meant many many things, but mostly it has meant my soul. This picture of this apple will appear in another work I have in progress right now, but for today--it was a simple pleasure to photograph this apple. It was also a simple pleasure to eat this apple afterwards. Photograph by Richard Sayer